Laugh Date: Saturday, August 19, 2017

What's Inside

Best of RAH96 Song Parody:
A Whole Newt World

This RAH96 Song Parody is based on "A Whole New World" from the soundtrack of the 1992 animated Disney classic, Aladdin.

A Whole Newt World

music by Alan Mencken
lyrics by Tim Rice
parody lyrics by Dave Bealer

Music and lyrics:
Copyright © 1992 The Walt Disney Company, All Rights Reserved.
Additional lyrics:
Copyright © 1996 Dave Bealer, All Rights Reserved.

Virtual vocals by Hillary Clinton and Bob Dole
Bill Clinton on the saxophone
Al Gore in a tree

Dole:
I can show you the world,
Fair, efficient, rewarding,
Tell me, Clinton,
Now when did you last let your brain decide?

I can open your eyes,
Take you budget by budget,
Climbing out of the doldrums,
On a free market ride.

A whole Newt world,
A capitalistic point of view,
No one to sell our soul,
Or take our dough,
Or say we're only greedy.

Clinton:
A whole Newt world,
A safer place I never knew,
Employment is way up here - it's crystal clear,
That now I'm in a whole Newt world with you.

Dole:
Now I'm in a whole Newt world with you.

Clinton:
Unbelievable prize, indescribable freedom,
Working, consuming, creating,
Through an endless Dow Jones high.

A whole Newt world,

Dole:
Don't you dare close your mind,

Clinton:
A hundred thousand things to try,

Dole:
Hold your breath, it gets better.

Clinton:
An upwardly mobile star, I've come so far,
I can't go back to where I used to be.

Dole:
A whole Newt world,

Clinton:
Every tax is reduced,

Dole:
With new markets to develop,

Clinton:
Every paycheck gets better.

We'll earn more everywhere,
There's wealth to spare,
Let me share this whole Newt world with you.

Dole:
A whole Newt world,

Clinton:
A whole Newt world,

Dole:
That's were we'll be,

Clinton:
That's were we'll be,

Dole:
A winning change,

Clinton:
A healthier place,

Duet:
For you and me.

______________________________

Sound Byte
Bill Clinton recently welcomed Yasser Arafat as "an equal".
Sounds right to me.
Neither one is remotely capable of doing his job.

______________________________

Dave Bealer is a fifty-something mainframe systems programmer who works with CICS, z/OS and all manner of nasty acronyms at one of the largest heavy metal shops on the East Coast. He shares a waterfront townhome in Pasadena, MD. with a cat who annoys him endlessly as he assiduously avoids writing for and publishing Random Access Humor. Dave can be reached via e-mail at:

______________________________

Random Nonsense:
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.
 

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