Best of RAH96
Taglines From February 1997
When angry, count four. When very angry, swear. - Mark Twain
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and
car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance
of a good example. - Mark Twain
There are no dull subjects. There are only dull writers. - H.L. Mencken
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral?
It is because we are not the person involved. - Mark Twain
The two most beautiful words in the English language are
"check enclosed." - Dorothy Parker
He is useless on top of the ground. He should be under it,
inspiring the cabbages. - Mark Twain
(My) execution is scheduled for tomorrow. I should call in sick. - Dilbert
"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice. - Bart Simpson
"Bother" said Pooh, as he hid the Death Star plans in his hunny pot.
Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it? - Tim
"Ow do you know she is a witch?" "She turned me into a NEWT!"
Mainframes (n) - your coolest pair of glasses.
What is it? Why, lovely lady, it is a tribble. - Cyrano Jones
The Bela Lugosi. Yes, he's still alive. - Ed Wood
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et out the .45?
Baby oil is not made by squeezing dead babies!
That will really help the centuries fly by. - Rimmer
Bacon and eggs - hens are involved, but pigs are committed.
Rose's are red, Violet's are blue, and Vanna's are White.
Bad day - when the fortune teller refunds your money.
Crazy is a relative term in my family.
Babysitters - girls you hire to watch your TV.
Bach did it with his organ.
When I was a boy we carved our own ICs out of wood.
Bachelor - a guy who is footloose and fiance-free.
I am Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.
Back the Metric System every inch of the way!
Toddlers - the storm troopers of the dark lord of entropy.
What is "scratch" and why can everything be made from it?
Back when undergarments had no erotic appeal. - Tom Servo
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple
as a pack of wild dogs.
Peace through superior firepower.
Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your daughter's involved with Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice.
The reason that God was able to create the world in seven days is that
he didn't have to worry about the installed base.
Random order = oxymoron
Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers!
WARNING! I cannot be held responsible for the above because my cats
have apparently learned to type.
Galileo and Copernicus were wrong. The world revolves around me.
Earth is a beta site.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so. - Mark Twain
Edward Scissorhands was an early Borg prototype.
Hotel California Online - "you can logoff anytime you like, but you..."
Fission - outdoor sport favored by nuclear physicists.
This is not a novel to be thrown aside lightly, it should be thrown
with great force. - Dorothy Parker
Famous Last Words: It's perfectly safe. Let me show you.
Game show hosts do it behind door #3.
Either he's dead, Jim, or my tricorder is running Windows.
Fast - Cheap - Good. Pick two.
Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a web designer!
Stick \'stik\ (n). 1: A boomerang that doesn't work.
Defend the Constitution from all enemies, foreign and elected.
Tact: describing others as they see themselves.
Disney's Law: children under 12 must be accompanied by money.
Quasimodo is a dead ringer.
He who hesitates is lunch.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.